As a society, we seem to be "easily bothered." Many of us are
"chronically bothered" by things that are simply counter-productive
for us to be focusing on. Asking yourself "what is it costing me?" is
a powerful question because it gives you the wisdom to understand,
on a deep level, that "it’s just not worth it."
Most people who haven’t yet come to the conclusion that "it’s just
not worth it" simply haven’t done a cost/benefit analysis of the way they’re
feeling towards a particular situation. You have the right to feel any way you want to feel, but a better question is: "Is this how I’d
like to feel? Or, "Is this working for me?" If you actually write out
a 2 column list with one heading being the advantages of being upset and
bothered by person or situation X, and the other heading being the disadvantages
or the costs of being upset or bothered by situation X, it will be eye-opening
for you. You’ll then be motivated to not only stop expending your limited
energy on the situation, but to take responsibility for it. For the four choices
to take responsibility for the things that bother you, click here for the February newsletter: http://www.trainrightinc.com/February2002.htm
The above link gives you the how, but before you get to the how, many need the why. So, what could it be costing you?
For starters, there is a medically proven mind, body, spirit connection, and
every thought that we have has a physical reaction in our body. Health researchers say that simply recalling one
5-minute episode of anger suppresses our immune system for up to seven hours. That’s pretty interesting considering how many times
the average person gets upset in a typical day. If you have something that’s bothering you that’s not resolved, your body is essentially
reliving that experience every time you think about it. Your body doesn’t know
the difference if it’s actually happening now in this moment or if it happened 10 years ago. There are several emotions
that contribute to producing disease in human beings. Anger, frustration, rage, hatred, fear, anxiety, being chronically, bothered,
etc. Needless to say, it’s not good for us physically.
When we start to view our problems this way it lowers our tolerance for them
and causes us to refuse to immerse ourselves in harmful reactions. It makes us
say to ourselves, "I’m just not going to participate in this any more,
because when I do, it only harms me."
Other ways to think about this:
"What does it cost me when I let this get to me?"
"What does it cost me when I take work home with me?"
"What does it cost me when I don’t sleep as much as I need
to?"
"What does it cost me when I am physically with my loved ones,
but mentally I’m somewhere else, at work perhaps?"
"What is this costing me physically, emotionally, spiritually,
intellectually?"
"What is this costing my relationships?"
This is a subtle shift, but an important one. We need to be reminded over and
over again that it’s always a choice, and for many of the situations that
chronically bother us there are no victims, only volunteers.
Just about everybody at some time in his or her life comes to the conclusion
that "it’s just not worth it." Unfortunately, some people come to
this conclusion too late, or not as soon as they would of liked to. I hope that
you’re able to use this perspective shift to speed up the process and not have
to wait for a "sudden wake up call" to enter to your life.
About the Author
Kevin
Stacey helps companies and professionals achieve maximum productivity
and effectiveness through stress management and time management
training. He is available to speak on these topics.
For more information visit http://www.TrainRightInc.com
or call 1-800-603-7168.
